Scientists develop a drug against Monday blues syndrome

Did you ever dreaded the next day on Sunday evenings? Have you ever had problems getting up on Monday morning and felt depressed or even hopeless? Did you ever sense that work is unpleasant but unavoidable? Did you ever had hallucinations about shouting "I quit" to your manager on Monday?

The Anglo drugmaker Smith&Watson has developed hyacintholoft, an anti-Monday blues drug which is awaiting regulatory approval.

David Watson, chief scientist, has discovered an active pharmaceutical ingredient which blocks Monday blues receptors in the brain and make you feel more indispensable at your job.

Monday morning blues syndrome is a type of depression in humans brought on by lack of challenging projects at the workplace, uninteresting and meaningless tasks or unbearable co-workers.

A person who suffers under this syndrome usually exhibits a very low mood especially on Sunday evenings or Monday mornings. People with Monday morning blues syndrome may be preoccupied with thoughts and feelings of worthlessness. 

In severe cases people may have auditory hallucinations telling them to quit their jobs and just blankly stare into the PC screen at the workplace from 9 to 5 o'clock 5 days a week. The boreout syndrome might occur in conjunction with the Monday morning blues syndrome.

Office clerks are the most susceptible occupational group suffering under Monday blues syndrome.

"Every Monday morning I didn't know why I was even here. After working as a file clerk for 5 years I could't see any meaning in my existence. I felt like a squeezed washcloth. I had dreams about joining the Fightclub, " says Ralf Davis. "But after taking the new drug I can't await Mondays. Everyday I skip to my work and while working I always hum."

Hyancintholoft might be the new hope for a lot of office clerks. It will be available next year.

Fukushima Power Water: new energy drink on the market

If you want to take a short brake in our office and need to vitalize yourself for the next meeting try Fukushima Power Water. Fukushima Power Water is an energy drink, containing the following functional ingredients: Uranium 235, Plutonium, Cesium, Iodine 313.

Uranium is known for its stimulating effects on the human body, Plutonium is an essential nutrient required for maintaining normal body function, Cesium and Iodine are different types of sugars which are also contained in our daily diet.

The energy drink was developed by F-Water, a startup in Tokyo run by a young entrepreneur Smith Klein from Australia.

More than for years later after the nuclear power-plant disaster, water used to cool molten nuclear fuel from reactors is poured 300 tons into the sea everyday.

"Some thermal baths have radioactivity and have a positive effect on the body. So I thought why not bottle the water up and sell it," says Klein. "300 tons of water makes 1.2 Million of 250 ml cans and if one can costs 2$ you can make a fortune. Besides that, the water doesn't cost you anything." Klein's initial intention to visit Japan was to teach English but now he turned into a successful entrepreneur. 

Fukushima Power Water was a instant hit in Japan and already has sold 5 Million cans after 1 month it has been introduced to the market.

"The drink tastes awesome and makes you feel energized. Now it's possible for me to learn non-stop for my college entrance exams," says a high school student from Tokyo.

 The energy drink is not only popular among young people but also very well received by middle aged people because it is known to lower the cholesterol level in your blood.

Fashion designer Coco Dior under fire over skeleton models in Paris

PARIS-Famous fashion designer Coco Dior from Paris has come under fire for using skeleton robots in her spring 2016 collection although she said in 2014 she "would like to use extremely skinny real life models."

The models Dior used in her most recent show were all remote-controlled skeletons made from stainless steel.

"A lot of girls develop eating disorder because they work towards the body shape of catwalk models. Skeletons on a runway would add fuel to the flame to the problem and young girls might refuse to eat anything at all and starve to death," said Gena Garner, leader of the eating disorder charity Eat More!.

Dior lambasted Garner for critics on her and argued that the focus is on clothes during the show. She claims models should be walking clothes hangers leading to the decision to use skeleton robots for her big runway show.

Dior said that using robots instead of model is also very cost-effective. "You do not have to pay thousands of dollars for one model you just have to pay a bit for electricity," says Dior. "If you use real life models, they might start to suffer under anorexia and you might get blamed from the public. But robots don't complain and are perfect walking clothes hangers."

Dior's collection earned a mixed initial reception, with charity groups complaining of "promoting anorexia" or the fashion industry hailing it as "the skeleton revolution on the catwalk."

Show participants were impressed by the show. "There were no disturbingly thin models and I could enjoy the show with good conscience. I enjoyed the fiber art ," said a fashion design student from IFA Paris.

Holly Harper (25), a former thin model, changed her career to a plus-size model. "I am glad that skeletons replaced us. Now I am a plus-size model and eat whatever I like. Today I had a whole New York cheesecake!When I was a thin model I could not even have wild fantasies about chocolate bars because that would scare me to death," she said. "Now I am very happy with my career as a plus-size model."

Islamic State defector: 'I found 72 virgins in a strip club'

LONDON-Mustafa Zuabi (22) did not expect that he will find 72 virgins in a strip club in London.

Zuabi, a homegrown terrorist and defector from the Islamic State, fought for ISIS in Syria just few weeks ago. He has shaved off his long beard and his hair is gelled. With a beaming smile on his face he tells The Mongrosso Press why he decided to leave the Islamic State.

Zuabi had a hard time finding work out of high school and started his career as a pizza delivery boy. Besides his pizza delivery career he tried to become a rapper but it did not go well. After 3 years he was disillusioned about his life. The experience radicalized him.

On a sunny day in London (which is rare), Zuabi met a group of Salafists who were promoting the Koran on the street. The Salafist movement is an ultra-conservative orthodoxical movement within the Islam also known for their recruitment of fighters. The group leader told him if he would join the Islamic State he could be a martyr right away. Zuabi did not understand the word martyr but it did not sound cool enough so he declined the offer. But after Zuabi learned he could have 72 virgins if he would fight he did not hesitate a minute and decided to join the Islamic State.

ISIS bought Zuabi a flight ticket to Syria and he was paid a monthly salary of £600. Not much but he believed in 72 virgins. 

The Islamic State had no proper toilets, it was too hot in the day and too cold in the night, too sandy and they gave him just rice and beans everyday. The final break came when he did not find any trace of 72 virgins. Again he was radicalized.

Totally disillusioned, Zuabi secretly looked for a new job in the internet and took the risk that he might get beheaded. After 1 week he found a job as a bouncer at a strip club called 72 Virgins.

"I could not believe it. I came all the way from London to Syria and I found 72 virgins in London. That was so easy," says Zuabi. "This is real heaven."

Now he happily works at the strip club with his 72 virgins. 

Saudi Arabia rises social class of women from chicken to human

RIYADH-King of Saudi Arabia Salman announced to rise the social class of women from animals to human. The reform has worldwide proponents.

Saudi Arabia has 3 social classes with men on the top of the hierarchy followed by human and animals, the bottom class. Saudi Arabian women belong to the social class of animals meaning they are on the same level as a chicken, sheep or camel.

Imam Muhammad Ayyub has studied the species of women of decades and came to the conclusion that women have cognitive capabilities and the ability to speech same as men. "I always had believed women are just good enough for reproduction. In school we are told us to take care of women like chickens. Women cackle like hens so I thought they are a similar species," says Ayyub. "One day I met this young woman who could recite each single line of the Koran from memory and I shouted 'ya allah (meaning oh my god)' what is this new kind of species who can speak and think. This is not a chicken!"

Imam Ayyub studied all passages of the Koran. "The Surah 4:11/2 reads 'Women are animals like chicken. Like chicken, man are permitted to take women as sex slaves' and so I though women are animals," explains Ayyub. Finally, he concluded the Koran forgot to print a passage were women are described as human beings.

The hardest part of the reform was to convince the Saudi Arabian King Salman because he is currently suffering under dementia. But when Ayyub said women are species who are capable to read the Koran, the King's face beamed and he promised to rise the social class of a women to human.

Ex-CIA analyst reveals how the US destabilizes countries by spreading obesity through McDonald's

MOSKOW-The individual responsible for the leak is a 35-year-old former CIA analyst George Miller. Miller has been working at the CIA for the last five years as an employee for the Central Intelligence Agency.

The CIA plan began in 1940 when the first McDonald's restaurant was founded in San Bernardino, California. Ever since the CIA has spread over 36,000 restaurants world wide to all strategically important countries. Just few countries which seem to be absolutely unimportant to the US such as Mongolia, Nepal, Bolivia, Iceland, Montenegro, Bermuda, Jamaica, North Korea (although Kim Jong-un looks like he eats 10 burgers everyday), Zimbabwe and Barbados have escaped the invasion of McDonald's.

As of 2008 the WHO estimated that at least 500 million adults (greater than 10%) are obese. For example, the Mighty Angus from McDonald's has a belt-busting 790 calories.

"The weapon of mass obesity is deployed to turn the world population into a bunch of physically unfit, depressed and under mood swings suffering people which are not capable of defending their country and are forced to join the NATO. Overweight people need more health care and make the health care system unstable," explains Miller. 

"They always take up 2 seats, eat 2 package of Oreos instead of 1 and consume more fuel in travel so they cost more money and the monetary system is also destabilized. People from poor countries such as the sub-Saharan area will envy them and create social unrest leading to destabilization. Obese people get addicted to all the fat and sugar that is contained in burgers, in coke and other American products and start to think they need us."

By increasing obesity and thus creating weak people they are more willing to accept anything what comes form the US and the plan seems to be (still) working.


Some interesting facts about McDonald's
Countries who do not have any McDonald's:
http://whatculture.com/offbeat/10-countries-dont-mcdonalds.php

Erdogan and his weapon of mass migration