Scientists develop a drug against Monday blues syndrome

Did you ever dreaded the next day on Sunday evenings? Have you ever had problems getting up on Monday morning and felt depressed or even hopeless? Did you ever sense that work is unpleasant but unavoidable? Did you ever had hallucinations about shouting "I quit" to your manager on Monday?

The Anglo drugmaker Smith&Watson has developed hyacintholoft, an anti-Monday blues drug which is awaiting regulatory approval.

David Watson, chief scientist, has discovered an active pharmaceutical ingredient which blocks Monday blues receptors in the brain and make you feel more indispensable at your job.

Monday morning blues syndrome is a type of depression in humans brought on by lack of challenging projects at the workplace, uninteresting and meaningless tasks or unbearable co-workers.

A person who suffers under this syndrome usually exhibits a very low mood especially on Sunday evenings or Monday mornings. People with Monday morning blues syndrome may be preoccupied with thoughts and feelings of worthlessness. 

In severe cases people may have auditory hallucinations telling them to quit their jobs and just blankly stare into the PC screen at the workplace from 9 to 5 o'clock 5 days a week. The boreout syndrome might occur in conjunction with the Monday morning blues syndrome.

Office clerks are the most susceptible occupational group suffering under Monday blues syndrome.

"Every Monday morning I didn't know why I was even here. After working as a file clerk for 5 years I could't see any meaning in my existence. I felt like a squeezed washcloth. I had dreams about joining the Fightclub, " says Ralf Davis. "But after taking the new drug I can't await Mondays. Everyday I skip to my work and while working I always hum."

Hyancintholoft might be the new hope for a lot of office clerks. It will be available next year.

Chinese top dog reveals secrets about the Communist Party of China's diet plan and how it made possible to fund the military parade

It was all about diet, the high-profile official of the Communist Party of China Xi Jintao insisted. "We Chinese love peace, we love military parades and we needed to fund the military parade marking the 70th anniversary of victory over Japan to show the world how much we love peace." 

But China was hit hard by the recent recession making it inevitable to cut the budget for is peaceful parade costing $100 million.
Xi Jintao commanded all 85 million members of the Communist party to go on a strict diet.

For 3 month, The Communist Party of China stopped free delivery of Loui XIII cognacs, Peking ducks covered with gold powder and bird's nest. But this rigorous measures were not enough yet to save money therefore Jintao also stopped the delivery of human placenta, a very popular delicacy among the Chinese super-rich.
After the  strict diet for 3 month China was able to save money and allocate a budget of $100 million to the peaceful military parade.

"Now, we are able to show how much we love peace to the world especially to Japan," smiled Jintao , "and we also censored away 10 million party members who had been criticizing our diet plan. They do not exist anymore.That was a healthy diet to the party."