Swiss scientitsts believe Uncle Sam suffers under severe paranoia

Geneva―A group of scientists from the Geneva University Hospital believe Uncle Sam suffers under severe paranoia.

Paranoia is a thought process characterized by exaggerated fear that something bad will happen, fear that the bad is caused by others with lack of foundation of the above features. People suffering under paranoia fear that someone is trying to cause them physical harm or even kill them. They live in fear, feel isolated and are depressed all the time. The cause of paranoia is still unknown but major live events that cause sudden increase of stress may be responsible for it.

Uncle Sam showed first symptoms of paranoia after 9/11 in 2001. He accused Iraq of having "weapons of mass destruction" becoming obsessed with the idea to start a war in the Middle East.  In May 2003, Iraq was defeated and Saddam Hussein was executed by the USA. 

Uncle Sam's brain circulation declined and he exhibited more paranoid symptoms. He had been possessed by the thought that Colonel Gaddafi, the late dictator of Libya, wanted to kill him. Again, a war was started between the USA and Libya and ended with the execution of the dictator by USA funded "moderate rebel groups", now called "ISIS", in August 2011.

Meanwhile, Uncle Sam's metal state has declined dramatically. He accuses Syria to have used chemical weapons on its people and breaking human rights. Uncle Sam has grabbed to his gun and started to throw "democracy bombs" to bring back American democracy to Syria. He even started to bomb hospitals. (He also wants to have little bit of natural gas and oil from Syria.)

The scientists are very concerned about Uncle Sam's mental health state. They tried laughter and various talking therapies but nothing has worked yet. Recently, Uncle Sam regards Putin, president of Russia, as a new threat and is obsessed to eliminate him.

Scientists also suspect that NATO is suffering under mild paranoia because it also regards Putin as a threat.

USA wins 2015 Nobel peace prize

USA, the United States of America spreading peace in the middle east for decades, has won the 2015 Nobel peace price.

Speaking after finishing his day in the congress, in Washington, the US president said: "Finally, our war for democracy and freedom are bearing fruits in the Middle East."

Within 10 years 2 American citizens, Al Gore in 2007 and Barack Obama in 2009, have won the Nobel peace prize followed by this years prize to the US adding the whole country to the list.

The US started its illegal peace project in Iraq in 2003 to destroy Saddams Hussein's imaginary weapons of mass destruction. Instead weapons the US found Saddam Hussein and got rid of him. The US brought democracy, justice and peace to Iraq. Actually, democracy was blossoming in Iraq creating many freedom extremists.

The US peace excursion also landed in Libya. For some reason, Washington felt responsible to protect the people of Libya from the insane man Muammar Gaddafi. US supported all the militant peace Islamic freedom terrorists in eastern Libya. The US successfully changed the regime in Libya and peaceful terrorists such as Al-Quaida and ISIS started to flourish.

The unstoppable peace evangelist US is now worried about Syria. Over a period of one year, around 20,000 airstrikes have been launched by the US military in Syria to destroy its civilian infrastructure to create a completely new country. US intelligence trains and finances freedom fighters ISIS and other peace supporting groups to overthrow the Assad regime.

The US won for what the Nobel committee called the country "peace creator" for the Middle East. It is the first time a country ever wins the prize.

In a statement, the Nobel committee said: "The US is fighting against the bad boy Putin and his bad bad ally Assad. The war against terrorism has filled many wallets of Washington's military elite with billion of dollars creating peace of mind among them. The US has started to arm moderate rebels in Syria which will lead to unimaginable peace in the Middle East as well as in Europe."

Ex-CIA analyst reveals how the US destabilizes countries by spreading obesity through McDonald's

MOSKOW-The individual responsible for the leak is a 35-year-old former CIA analyst George Miller. Miller has been working at the CIA for the last five years as an employee for the Central Intelligence Agency.

The CIA plan began in 1940 when the first McDonald's restaurant was founded in San Bernardino, California. Ever since the CIA has spread over 36,000 restaurants world wide to all strategically important countries. Just few countries which seem to be absolutely unimportant to the US such as Mongolia, Nepal, Bolivia, Iceland, Montenegro, Bermuda, Jamaica, North Korea (although Kim Jong-un looks like he eats 10 burgers everyday), Zimbabwe and Barbados have escaped the invasion of McDonald's.

As of 2008 the WHO estimated that at least 500 million adults (greater than 10%) are obese. For example, the Mighty Angus from McDonald's has a belt-busting 790 calories.

"The weapon of mass obesity is deployed to turn the world population into a bunch of physically unfit, depressed and under mood swings suffering people which are not capable of defending their country and are forced to join the NATO. Overweight people need more health care and make the health care system unstable," explains Miller. 

"They always take up 2 seats, eat 2 package of Oreos instead of 1 and consume more fuel in travel so they cost more money and the monetary system is also destabilized. People from poor countries such as the sub-Saharan area will envy them and create social unrest leading to destabilization. Obese people get addicted to all the fat and sugar that is contained in burgers, in coke and other American products and start to think they need us."

By increasing obesity and thus creating weak people they are more willing to accept anything what comes form the US and the plan seems to be (still) working.


Some interesting facts about McDonald's
Countries who do not have any McDonald's:
http://whatculture.com/offbeat/10-countries-dont-mcdonalds.php

Iraqi weapon of mass destruction found in Texas

CHIHUAHUAN DESERT, Texas-Iraqi weapons of mass destruction which could not be found in Iraq are being excavated in the Chihuahuan desert by theologians searching for the Noah's Ark, a ship  believed to be wrecked thousand of years by fundamental Christians.

In the year 2003, American troops invaded Iraq under the pretence that the country hides weapon of mass destruction. Former president George W. Bush hallucinated that Saddam Hussein was hiding secret weapons but oddly enough the weapons have not been found yet after more than 10 years of American invasion. American, Great Britain, Australian and Polish troops looked at every single corner of Hussein's house even in the toilet but could not find any evidence. 

Sam Harrison, lead theologian from the Biblical Archaeology Research Institute of Wheaton College unexpectedly found Iraqi weapons of mass destruction amidst the Texan desert. "These weapons of mass destruction are similar to the Ark of the Covenant shown in Raiders of the Lost Ark. We are fascinated about our artifact. According to Raiders of the Lost Ark when you open the box the wrath will kill people who looked at the light emitted from the Ark so we have to be very careful about our further research," he said.

The mystery remains why Iraqi weapons of mass destruction were buried in the American ground.

Former George W. Bush is excited:"I've been looking for weapons of mass destruction for years. The USA bombed and brought freedom to Libya, destabilized Syria, asked ISIS to find the Iraqi weapons and used weapon of mass migration but still there was no trace of them. Now we have found them. In god we trust."

The study of the artifact may reveal the reason for the invasion of Iraq in 2003 and deliver proof that Bush was not hallucinating at that time.