Ms. Merkel's refugee policy

Oktoberfest 2050! Can't wait

Chinese top dog reveals secrets about the Communist Party of China's diet plan and how it made possible to fund the military parade

It was all about diet, the high-profile official of the Communist Party of China Xi Jintao insisted. "We Chinese love peace, we love military parades and we needed to fund the military parade marking the 70th anniversary of victory over Japan to show the world how much we love peace." 

But China was hit hard by the recent recession making it inevitable to cut the budget for is peaceful parade costing $100 million.
Xi Jintao commanded all 85 million members of the Communist party to go on a strict diet.

For 3 month, The Communist Party of China stopped free delivery of Loui XIII cognacs, Peking ducks covered with gold powder and bird's nest. But this rigorous measures were not enough yet to save money therefore Jintao also stopped the delivery of human placenta, a very popular delicacy among the Chinese super-rich.
After the  strict diet for 3 month China was able to save money and allocate a budget of $100 million to the peaceful military parade.

"Now, we are able to show how much we love peace to the world especially to Japan," smiled Jintao , "and we also censored away 10 million party members who had been criticizing our diet plan. They do not exist anymore.That was a healthy diet to the party."

China and Japan outraged: Greece's super-rich buy Senkaku Island

Chinese's and Japan's defence ministries are outraged about super-rich Greeks buying strongrooms on the Senkaku islands.
The Senkaku islands located in East China Sea have been the cause of sharpening dispute between China and Japan both countries making territorial claim.

Last month, the Greek bank Zeus Bank started a new service offering strongrooms on the Senkaku islands. Christos Papadopoulos, managing director of Zeus Bank, explains that the new service targets the Greece's super-rich. The past month, the Greece government introduced capital controls and restrictions on withdrawals making the super-rich very worried about their money. As the crisis deepens, they have started to disperse their wealth. Senkaku islands become increasingly popular among the rich Greeks because of its safety for strongrooms.

Xenophon Vassilakis, a yacht company owner, said he is very satisfied with the service. "China and Japan prevent each other to get on shore making it impossible that any living thing will plunder our wealth. Finally, our money is safe from the public and the government," he says.

Japan plans to hire skilled Jihadi suicide bomber from Isis

Japanese prime minister Shinzo Abe announced his long-awaited growth strategy on Monday and said Japan will start issuing (skilled) visas to highly skilled foreign jihadist suicide bomber because of decreasing kamikaze pilot population.

The Japanese public is increasingly worried about the effects of declining kamikaze population. In the first time of decades, Japan will loosen its immigration policy. Japan will start issuing visas of category J to skilled foreign jihadist suicide bombers from April 2016. The spokesperson of Council on Economic said jihadist will be utilized to protect the Senkaku islands.

Osama A., a skilled jihadi suicide bomber from the Islamic State is very excited about this new opportunity. “I will definitely take this opportunity. I love sushi and anime. In Japan I could have 72 geishas.”